Your Day, Your Way

Your Day, Your Way

Why Doing What You Want Matters Most on Your Elopement Day

Imagine This...

You’re standing on the edge of a cliff, hand in hand with your person. The sun is slowly rising, casting a golden hue over the lake below. The world feels still. There’s no pressure to perform, no checklist to chase. Just the two of you, soaking in a once-in-a-lifetime moment that feels like it was made for you.

That’s the magic of an elopement—freedom, intention, and authenticity. You’re not caught in a whirlwind of centerpieces, guest counts, and drama over the seating chart. You’re not spending the morning rushing through hair and makeup just to stand in front of 150 people you barely know and say something deeply personal. Instead, you’re grounded. Present. In love.

More importantly, you’re doing things on your terms. And that is one of the most powerful decisions you’ll ever make.

We live in a world obsessed with “wedding goals”—Pinterest-perfect photos, viral Instagram reels, and a constant stream of opinions from friends, family, and strangers online. In the midst of all that noise, it’s so easy to forget that a wedding is more than just an event—it’s the start of a marriage. It’s your love story in motion. And that story should look and feel exactly how you want it to.

Whether you’re dreaming of exchanging vows on a mountaintop, sharing breakfast at a forest overlook, or paddling across a glacier-fed lake with your partner before saying “I do,” the truth remains: you don’t need permission to make your elopement day about you.

This blog is here to give you that permission anyway—loud and clear.

We’re diving deep into why choosing what you want for your elopement day isn’t just a nice idea—it’s the most important thing you can do. From budget tips to unique clothing choices, wild adventure options to handling family expectations, this is your go-to guide for planning an elopement day that truly reflects your heart.

Let’s explore what it means to create a wedding day that’s all about your love, your joy, and your way.

1. The Wedding Industry Is Loud—Your Heart Deserves a Louder Voice

Let’s be real: the wedding industry has no chill.

From the moment you get engaged, you’re bombarded with ads, expectations, and unsolicited advice. “Have you picked a theme?” “What’s your color palette?” “Are you doing a garter toss?” Before you even have a moment to savor that magical “yes,” the world is already asking you to plan an event that fits into a mold someone else created.

It’s overwhelming. And honestly? A little suffocating.

The traditional wedding industry is a multi-billion-dollar machine designed to make you feel like you need more. More décor. More guests. More upgrades. More stress. The message is subtle but clear: if your wedding doesn’t look like a magazine spread, is it even worth celebrating?

Here’s the truth bomb: you don’t need to buy into that noise.

What matters most isn’t the linen napkins or signature cocktails—it’s how your day feels. And when you give yourself permission to turn down the volume on everyone else’s expectations and turn up the dial on your own heart, everything changes.

Choosing to elope is already a radical act of self-trust. It’s saying, “We don’t need to follow the script—we’re going to write our own.” And that decision opens the door to endless possibilities. You get to plan a day that’s deeply personal, profoundly emotional, and completely untethered from all the unnecessary fluff.

You’re allowed to say no to things that don’t serve your joy. You’re allowed to skip the traditions that don’t feel meaningful to you. You’re allowed to tune out the wedding-industrial complex and create a day that actually reflects who you are—not what Instagram tells you to be.

Because here’s what’s wild: when you turn down the noise of the wedding industry, you’ll finally be able to hear yourselves.

And in that quiet, you’ll find clarity. You’ll find peace. And most importantly, you’ll find the space to celebrate your love in a way that feels 100% real.

Your heart deserves to be the loudest voice in the room on your wedding day. Eloping gives it the microphone.

2. Traditional Weddings Can Be a Performance—Elopements Are a Story

You’ve seen it before: the tuxedos, the matching bridesmaid dresses, the carefully choreographed dance numbers, and the stressed-out couple behind the scenes. Traditional weddings—while beautiful and meaningful for some—can often start to feel more like a stage production than a heartfelt celebration.

It’s not anyone’s fault. The pressure is real. The moment you book that venue and drop your deposit, a whole sequence of expectations kicks into motion. You’ve got to send invitations (complete with RSVP cards, of course). Then the cake tasting, the playlist planning, the strict timeline, the guest list drama, the speeches, the seating chart (don’t forget Uncle Ron and Aunt Susan can’t sit at the same table)—it all starts to snowball.

What began as a celebration of love becomes a checklist. A tightrope walk of logistics. A performance where you’re the stars, but not necessarily the storytellers.

And let’s not forget how many couples barely see each other on their wedding day. Between entertaining guests, smiling for hundreds of photos, managing stress, and following a packed schedule, many people get to the end of the night realizing they barely had a moment alone with their partner. That’s not exactly the most romantic way to begin a marriage.

Now, compare that with an elopement.

Eloping strips away the performance and puts the story front and center. It’s not about hosting—it’s about connecting. It’s not about presenting—it’s aboutexperiencing.

You get to create a day where every moment is designed around the two of you. Whether that means hiking to a secluded overlook, paddling out on a still lake at sunrise, or just spending slow, quiet moments together in a cozy cabin—you’re not performing. You’re living.

Your elopement becomes a narrative of your relationship—woven with inside jokes, shared adventures, quiet laughter, and all the raw emotions that come with promising forever. It’s not polished for an audience. It’s personal. Honest. And because of that, infinitely more meaningful.

And when I photograph your elopement day, I’m not capturing a highlight reel—I’m telling your love story frame by frame. The real smiles. The quiet tears. The epic, unscripted joy. It’s not a show. It’s your truth, beautifully told.

That’s the power of an elopement: no spotlight, no stage, no pressure—just love, adventure, and the kind of story you’ll never stop telling.

3. Your Day Should Reflect You—Not Pinterest Trends or Family Opinions

Let’s be real: we’ve all fallen into the Pinterest rabbit hole. You start by searching “elopement dress ideas,” and suddenly you’re elbow-deep in color palettes, DIY arch tutorials, and aesthetic picnic tables you didn’t even know existed. It’s easy to lose yourself in the dreamy photos and influencer-approved moments.

And while inspiration can be a wonderful tool, it can also start to feel like an unspoken rulebook: You’re supposed to wear this. You’re supposed to decorate like that.You’re supposed to do what everyone else is doing.

But here’s the truth: you’re not “supposed” to do anything.

This is your elopement day. And it should reflect you—not a Pinterest trend, not your mom’s vision, not your best friend’s dream wedding, and definitely not what’s hot on TikTok this week. Your love is unique. Your story is personal. Your wedding should be, too.

So what if everyone else is getting married in a ballroom? Maybe you feel most alive in the mountains. So what if boho macrame backdrops are trending? Maybe you want to say your vows in front of an alpine lake in your favorite leather jacket. So what if your family keeps hinting at a “real wedding”? Your relationship doesn’t need to prove itself with a guest list.

Your elopement should feel like a deep exhale—a day where you feel 100% comfortable being yourself. You can be playful or emotional, dressed to the nines or barefoot in the dirt. There are no wrong answers. No rules. No required steps. Just your instincts and your heart guiding the way.

Here’s a little secret: when you stop trying to copy someone else’s “perfect” and start leaning into your own version of what feels right, that’s when the magic happens. The joy becomes real. The moments become yours. And the photos? They’ll glow with something Pinterest can never quite capture: authenticity.

Give yourself the gift of letting go of the pressure to follow the crowd. Because the crowd isn’t the one getting married—you are.

4. Elopements Can Be Budget-Friendly—Without Feeling Cheap

There’s this persistent myth floating around that in order for a wedding to be meaningful, it has to be expensive. The lavish venue. The catering for 150 guests. The designer dress, the multi-tier cake, the endless vendor list. It’s no surprise that the average traditional wedding in the U.S. now costs over $30,000—and that’s before the honeymoon.

But here’s the thing: spending more doesn’t equal loving more. And choosing a budget-friendly elopement isn’t about “settling.” It’s about refocusing—on what actually matters to you. When you decide to elope, you’re not downgrading the experience. You’re just stripping away the parts that aren’t important and pouring your energy (and dollars) into what truly brings you joy.

At Kim Butler Photography, my elopement packages start at $5,000—and that includes far more than just photos. You’re not just getting someone to snap pictures; you’re getting a personalized, intentional experience that’s designed around your dream day. Every elopement package includes:

Full-day storytelling coverage: No hourly caps, no rushed moments. I’m with you for the whole journey.
Travel anywhere in the Western U.S. included: Whether you want to elope in the Rockies, the desert, or along the coast, I’m there. No hidden fees.
Planning assistance: I help with location scouting, timelines, figuring out which permits are needed, and all the behind-the-scenes magic.
Teaser photos within a few days: You won’t be waiting months to relive your day.
Optional videography by Jesse: Add-on video coverage to capture those emotional, in-motion moments for you and your loved ones to rewatch forever.

You’re investing in memories, not chair rentals.

And because you’re not tied to a big guest list or a traditional venue, your budget opens up so many other possibilities. Want to charter a sailboat for a sunset ceremony? Go for it. Want to splurge on a luxury Airbnb in the woods with a private hot tub? Yes, please. Want to hike a mountain and reward yourselves with pizza and beer at the summit? Iconic.

You don’t need a banquet hall to have a beautiful day. You need intention, freedom, and a photographer who knows how to capture the magic in the real moments.

If you’re trying to be mindful of your finances but still want an unforgettable experience, here are a few ideas:

Elope mid-week: Weekday elopements are often cheaper, less crowded, and easier to plan around.
Choose a national forest instead of a national park: Still epic, with fewer restrictions and lower permit fees.
Travel during shoulder season: April–May or September–October often offer better rates, beautiful weather, and thinner crowds.
Keep it simple with details: Instead of a bouquet, carry a foraged bundle. Instead of a multi-course dinner, share a picnic or a takeout meal from your favorite local joint.

None of these choices make your elopement any “less.” If anything, they give it more meaning—because everything you choose, you choose with intention.

A budget-friendly elopement isn’t a compromise. It’s a celebration of priorities. And when your priority is each other, you’ll never feel like you’re missing out.

5. Adventure Activities Can Make Your Day Unforgettable

One of the biggest myths about elopements is that they’re “just a quick ceremony in the woods.” But that couldn’t be further from the truth. When you elope, the entire day (or even multiple days!) becomes a blank canvas for unforgettable experiences—and that includes activities that reflect who you are as a couple.

Think of your elopement as the ultimate “choose your own adventure.” You’re not confined to a ceremony and dinner—you can fill your day with meaning, excitement, and the things you actually love doing together. Whether you’re adrenaline junkies, nature lovers, low-key explorers, or quirky romantics, your elopement day can be built around activities that make your hearts race and your souls feel at peace.

Let’s explore just a few ideas to inspire you:

Kayaking

Imagine paddling across a glassy alpine lake in the early morning light, surrounded by stillness and mountain reflections. Maybe you share private vows on the water or dock your kayaks for a little shoreline picnic. Kayaking is perfect for couples who love being immersed in nature and want a peaceful, slow-paced way to start their day.

Pro tip: Rent a tandem kayak for extra snuggles and coordination (or comedic bickering—we won’t judge).

Hiking

This is the classic elopement adventure, and for good reason. Whether you choose a short one-mile trail to a waterfall or an all-day summit hike, hiking lets youearn your views and create powerful memories along the way. The journey becomes part of the story—lacing up boots together, encouraging each other on the trail, sharing that victorious grin at the top.

Add a sunrise first look or sunset golden hour portraits for an experience that’s truly magical.

Mountain Biking

If you’re both thrill-seekers, why not hit the trail in your wedding gear? You can wear adventure-ready clothing or throw your elopement outfits in a backpack and change at your destination. The ride adds a rush of adrenaline to your love story, and the photos? Absolutely epic.

Plus, it’s a great way to explore scenic trails in the desert, forest, or along the coast.

Sailing

Want something more serene and intimate? Charter a small sailboat or catamaran and exchange vows on the open water. The sound of waves, the smell of salt in the air, the gentle sway of the boat—it all creates a cinematic atmosphere that feels like a dream. Whether it’s a breezy afternoon elopement or a golden-hour ceremony as the sun dips below the horizon, sailing offers a romantic, unforgettable setting.

Horseback Riding

This is the elopement fairytale in motion. Ride side-by-side through meadows, along rivers, or into the forest, and stop at a quiet clearing for your ceremony. It’s ideal for couples who want a peaceful journey and a strong connection to the land.

There are many outfitters who offer guided rides for elopements, and some allow you to fully customize the experience.

Helicopter or Seaplane Elopement

Ready to level up? Take your love to new heights—literally. Helicopter and seaplane elopements allow you to reach remote alpine peaks, glaciers, volcanic ridges, or tucked-away islands that few people ever get to see. You’ll have a completely private ceremony site and jaw-dropping views in every direction.

These are perfect for couples who want a bold, cinematic, completely off-the-grid experience.

Bonus Ideas You Might Not Have Considered:

Snowshoeing or skiing: For winter-loving couples.
Rock climbing: Ropes and rings, anyone?
Hot air balloon rides: Say “I do” floating above the world.
Off-roading in a Jeep or ATV: Rugged terrain, epic overlooks, dust in your hair, and joy in your heart.
Camping overnight: Turn your elopement into a weekend of stargazing, campfires, and sleeping under the sky.

The point is this: your elopement isn’t confined to one hour or one location. It’s an opportunity to build a whole experience that feels like your love—wild, adventurous, meaningful, and fun.

And when you look back at the photos and video from your day, you won’t just remember how beautiful it was. You’ll remember how alive you felt doing something that mattered to you.

6. Wear What You Want—Because You're the Main Character

Let’s toss the rulebook out the window: you do not have to wear a white dress, a black tux, or anything that doesn’t make you feel like yourself. This isn’t prom. It’s your wedding day—and what you wear should reflect you, not a tradition that doesn’t resonate or a fashion trend you feel pressured to follow.

Because here’s the truth: when you elope, you’re already doing things differently. You’ve chosen intention over expectation, presence over performance. So why stop there? Your outfit should be an extension of that freedom—a celebration of your personality, your comfort, and your unique love story.

If you’ve always dreamed of wearing a flowing dress that catches the wind on a mountaintop—do it. If you’ve always felt cooler in a suit and combat boots, lean into that vibe. Want to wear a leather jacket with your vows painted on the back? That’s not weird—that’s iconic.

There are no dress codes in the middle of the forest, no tuxedo rules on a glacier, no “appropriate attire” for saying your vows on a paddleboard. There is only what makes you feel powerful, beautiful, comfortable, and at home in your own skin.

Let’s take it further. Here are some incredible, creative clothing ideas I’ve seen (and absolutely loved):

Unique Dresses

Celestial-themed gowns with stars, constellations, or moon phases
Colored dresses—deep emerald green, dusty blue, sunset orange, or even black
Short dresses with tulle overlays or lace capes for mountain mobility and style
Custom embroidered pieces with your initials, date, or favorite quote
Layered looks: base dress with shawls, cloaks, or denim jackets for that adventure-chic vibe

Creative Suits

Floral-patterned blazers or pastel suits
Linen or wool styles that blend beautifully with rugged landscapes
Suspenders, bolo ties, and vintage boots for a Western edge
Mismatched pieces (like a casual jacket with dress pants) for that just-threw-it-together-and-still-killed-it energy
Suits in unexpected shades like burgundy, slate blue, or even burnt orange

Footwear That Works and Wows

Hiking boots paired with wedding dresses—hello traction and fashion
Custom Converse or Vans with “Just Married” painted on the sides
Barefoot ceremonies on the beach or in the forest
Cowboy boots, Dr. Martens, or lace-up leather booties
Sandals or minimalist shoes for desert elopements or boho vibes

Accessories with Personality

Embroidered veils with personal messages or song lyrics
Leather or denim jackets with hand-painted florals or “Till Death” lettering
Wide-brimmed hats, statement jewelry, or even matching sunglasses
Cloaks and capes for mountain-top drama (and warmth!)
National Park patches sewn into dresses or jackets for extra storytelling

And don’t forget—this day is about comfort and confidence. If that means changing outfits mid-day, bringing backup shoes, or hiking in your favorite leggings before swapping into formalwear, do it. There are no wrong answers.

When you look back at your photos, you won’t care whether your look was “in style” in five years. What you’ll care about is how you felt. And when you dress for you, that confidence glows in every frame.

You are the main character. Dress like it!

7. The People Who Matter Will Understand (Eventually)

One of the most common hesitations couples face when planning an elopement isn’t about the location, the outfits, or the logistics—it’s about the people. What will our families think? Will our friends be upset? Will people feel hurt if they’re not invited?

And those are fair questions. You’re not just planning a wedding—you’re navigating relationships. But here’s something important to remember:

This is your marriage, not a public performance.

It’s okay to care about others’ feelings. But it’s not okay to sacrifice your happiness just to avoid a potentially awkward conversation. If you plan your elopement around guilt or obligation, you risk walking away from your wedding day with regret—and that’s exactly what you were trying to avoid by eloping in the first place.

Now, will some people feel surprised? Probably. Will some need time to process? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean they won’t come around. And it definitely doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong.

In fact, choosing to elope can be one of the most honest things you do.

It’s a bold declaration: “We’re choosing to begin our marriage in a way that feels right for us.” It’s not a rejection of your family—it’s an embrace of your values. A commitment to authenticity. And anyone who truly loves you will either understand that now—or they will in time.

Still, there are gentle ways to include the people who matter without sacrificing your experience:

Livestream your ceremony for friends and family who want to witness the moment from afar. You can keep it simple or make it a full production (Jesse can even help with this if you add on video coverage!).
Send a post-elopement announcement with your favorite teaser photos and a handwritten note explaining what the day meant to you.
Throw a casual celebration afterward—a backyard BBQ, a dinner party, or a family picnic where you can share stories, laughter, and love.
Create a wedding film that brings them into the story after the fact. A well-edited video can make your loved ones feel like they were there, even if they weren’t.

And here’s a quote I love that might help if you’re struggling with the guilt:
“If you wouldn’t let them stay the weekend at your house, they don’t need to be at your wedding.”

This isn’t about excluding people to be rebellious. It’s about protecting your peace and starting your marriage with intention, love, and authenticity. At the end of the day, the people who truly matter don’t need a front-row seat to your ceremony—they just want to see you happy. And when they see the joy in your photos, the emotion in your video, and the love in your voice when you talk about your day, they’ll get it.

So take a deep breath. You’re allowed to do this your way. And the people who matter most will still be there—cheering you on, even if it’s from a different place than they expected.

8. Your Elopement Becomes Part of Your Legacy

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-of excitement—the location, the outfits, the logistics, the nerves, the weather. But take a step back for a second and think about what your wedding day really is: it’s the very beginning of your marriage. The first page of the next chapter in your lives. A memory you’ll return to again and again—not just in stories, but in photos, in video, and in how it shaped the way you began forever.

Your elopement isn’t just a day. It’s a legacy.

It’s the story you’ll tell your future selves when you need a reminder of what matters. It’s the album you’ll flip through on anniversaries. It’s the day your grandkids will ask about when they see that epic photo of you in hiking boots, laughing on top of a mountain.

When you choose to elope your way—intentionally, authentically, and without compromise—you’re setting a powerful tone for your marriage. You’re saying, we choose each other over expectations. We choose meaning over performance. We choose presence over pressure.

And that choice? It ripples. It teaches you to continue making decisions based on what’s right for you—not what’s popular, not what pleases others, not what looks good on paper. That mindset is a beautiful foundation for a marriage built on trust, communication, adventure, and genuine connection.

Eloping also invites you to be fully present on your wedding day. There’s no chaos to manage, no dozens of guests to entertain, no timelines pulling you away from each other. It’s just the two of you, grounded in the moment, soaking in every second without distraction. Those are the memories that last. Those are the moments that live in your bones.

And with the right team—hi, it’s me!—those moments don’t just live in your memory. They’re captured with care, intention, and artistry so you can relive them again and again. From the way you looked at each other during vows, to the quiet in-between moments no one else saw, to the laughter echoing through the trees during your post-ceremony adventure… it’s all part of your story.

Whether you choose to share your legacy with the world or keep it close to your heart, it’s yours to keep. And it all starts the moment you decide to create a wedding day that feels like home.

9. Do It Your Way, and You’ll Never Regret It

There are so many things in life that we question later. Did I make the right choice? Should I have gone with something else? What if I had just done it differently?

But here’s something you won’t regret: planning your elopement the way you wanted.

You will never look back and wish you’d listened to your distant cousin’s opinion on centerpieces. You will not regret skipping the traditions that didn’t feel meaningful to you. You won’t miss the stress of seating charts, the pressure of entertaining a hundred people, or the hours spent wrangling a giant wedding timeline that left little space for actual connection.

What you will remember is how it felt to be free.

You’ll remember standing next to your person, surrounded by nature and silence and intention, knowing that this moment was built for you. You’ll remember the laughter, the peace, the giddy anticipation. You’ll remember the tears in your eyes as you said your vows without an audience of strangers—just you two, and the world around you, bearing witness.

And if you’re like most couples I work with, you’ll also say this:

“This was so us. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

Doing things your way means owning your story. It means starting your marriage rooted in truth and connection. It means stepping away from noise and stepping into something real. That authenticity echoes through every part of your life—and every photo, every film, every flash of memory from your day will reinforce that you made the right call.

You chose presence over pressure. Meaning over marketing. Love over logistics.

And no matter what your elopement looks like—whether it’s a barefoot ceremony at the beach, a sunrise vow exchange after a long hike, or an epic helicopter ride to a glacier—you’re choosing something bigger than the wedding industry ever could have sold you: an experience that’s genuinely yours.

So if you’ve been on the fence, waiting for a sign… this is it.

Plan the day you want. Wear what you love. Go where your heart feels alive. Cry, laugh, scream from a mountaintop if you want to. Just don’t spend your wedding day wishing you’d done things differently.

Because regret doesn’t come from choosing your truth. It comes from silencing it.

Let your elopement be loud. Let it be bold. Let it be full of everything that makes your love extraordinary.

You’ll never regret doing it your way.

And Finally… Give Yourself Permission to Do What You Want

You’ve made it this far because, deep down, you know this already: your love deserves a wedding day that reflects who you are.

Not who your family thinks you should be.
Not who Pinterest tells you to become.
Not what the industry says looks best in a ballroom.

Just you. And the person you’ve chosen. Living, breathing, and loving in the way that feels most true to your story.

That’s what eloping your way is all about.

It’s about slowing down. Tuning in. Saying yes to the mountains, or the ocean, or the trail, or the treehouse. Saying yes to the boots you love and the dress that makes you spin around. Saying yes to the tacos and champagne on the tailgate and the Spotify playlist you made together for the drive.

It’s about beginning your marriage with presence, intention, and connection. It’s about waking up on your wedding day excited—not anxious. Grounded—not overwhelmed. Free—not bound by a script.

And the beautiful part? There’s no right or wrong way to do it. Only your way.

Whether you dream of eloping on a sailboat in the San Juans or backpacking through the desert in Moab… whether you want to wear a sparkly jumpsuit or a thrifted velvet gown… whether you keep it private or invite a handful of your closest people… your day is already perfect—as long as it’s yours.

You don’t need permission to plan your dream elopement.
But in case you were waiting for a sign—this is it.

Let go of the “shoulds.” Let go of the pressure. Let go of the noise.

Your wedding day can be anything you want it to be.
So make it unforgettable. Make it intentional.

Make it yours.

And if you need someone to walk beside you—camera in hand, heart fully invested, ready to help you create the most meaningful day of your life—I’m here. Let’s build something that’s not just beautiful… but true.

Resources to Inspire Your Dream Day